How to Give a Killer Toast

We’ve all been there — cringing as some not entirely sober best man rambles on and on about how his buddy, the groom, had SO MANY terrible girlfriends before he met the bride. Or the sister of the bride cries her way through a speech filled entirely with inside jokes that no one understands. Or the father of either shows a slideshow of every major milestone that seemingly lasts well until after the cake should have been cut.

Weddings are emotion-filled days and sometimes, it’s hard to capture all of the things that you want to say in one, memorable, heart-filled speech. But if you’re looking to avoid some common wedding toast no-nos, here’s a good place to start. Your audience and everyone waiting patiently for cake will thank you.

Remember your audience

If you’re in a room full of your high school buddies, then by all means, tell any kind of embarrassing story you’d like. However, chances are that some parents and grandparents will be in attendance, and if you give a speech consisting entirely of stories that they can’t relate to, then you are shooting yourself in the speech-making foot. Be relevant.

Keep it short

Your friends love you, they do, but unless you’re Jerry Seinfeld, stick to a two to three minute toast. This ensures that you limit yourself to only the most relevant and heartfelt stories. And, when you give yourself a time limit, you don’t get stuck on a tangent about how that one time, in college…

Practice

For the love of pete, DO NOT get up on wedding day without having done a trial run in front of your significant other, hamster, or at least the bathroom mirror. Every good wedding toast that I’ve ever heard has been rehearsed at least once (if not four or five times) to find the best place for dramatic pauses, to make sure all the words flow seamlessly, or to see if it’s just a smidge too long.

Be authentic

This means not looking up four quotes on “true love” from a Shakesperean novel, nor does it mean composing a stand up routine that could compete with Chris Rock. A mix between heartfelt and funny usually yields the best results, but if witty jokes aren’t your thing, don’t feel like you have to be a comedian. Most of the time, the bride and groom simply want to know that they are loved and supported by their friends and family, so if your toast accomplishes that, then you’ve got it all down (as long as you practice, keep it short, and remember your audience, too

Okay, toastmasters, I know you’re out there. How many of you have given wedding toasts (good or bad!)? What are your recommendations for giving a good one?

How Not to Be A Bride (or Groom!) zilla

Hello, hello, lovely LL followers! Did you have a good week? It was gorgeous here in Montana and I’m polishing the last few details on some of my early summer weddings.

If you haven’t guessed with all your mailboxes being stuffed full of invitations and Save the Dates and bachelor(ette) party requests, it’s officially wedding season!

And though I love the final rush of anticipation as the countdown to wedding day begins, I understand the feeling of overwhelm that begins to take over as it happens (and I even wrote about how to relax ON wedding day). When all those last minute details begin to grate at your nerves and you feel juuuust short of a nervous breakdown.

Never fear! I’ve devised a few actionable tips that you can take during the weeks and days that lead up to your biggest one.

Remember to surround yourself with support.

Get everyone on board and let them know that you are feeling a little frazzled. Call your family, friends, and your soon-to-be-family to vent about last-minute wedding stress. Just the feeling of knowing that you have an army of support and people who love you and can’t wait to share your special day with you no matter what the wedding cake looks like can be an effective way to manage stress (as long as you aren’t letting the stress build up into anger and anxiety).

Be not afraid to delegate.

If you don’t have a planner, it’s really, really difficult to feel totally comfortable with all the tiny last minute decisions that you feel like you have to make. But there are people that love you and might even be in your wedding party that want to help you. Let your parents or in-laws-to-be take care of stuffing gift bags. Allow your future spouse to do some last minute shopping. And utilize that bridal party. If they’re willing to stand up with you while you pledge your love, the least they can do is make a few phone calls so you don’t lose your mind.

Remind yourself that things that seem to be an enormous deal, are probably unnoticed by everyone else.

The welcome bag you covet is out of stock. The forecast looks like rain. Your rental company is all out of the peacock handled spoons that you love so much. These all seem like THE BIGGEST DEAL EVER, but really? No one is going to notice.

You know what they’ll notice? Your gorgeous smile, the way your eyes light up the first time you see your future spouse at the other end of the aisle, how much fun they had when they broke it down with you and your family on the dance floor. Not the number of spoons you had or whether or not your centerpiece caught the light right.

In the end, it’s only a wedding.

I know that it sounds trite, but this is one BIG DAY. It’s not the last day. It’s the beginning of a wonderful chapter, of a life that you’ve never lived before. And if anything? That’s what you will want to focus on. The newness of a life with your spouse, the changes that you are going to see in yourself by giving your love wholly and completely to another person. Repeat those thoughts to yourself the next time you feel like you want to reach into the phone and tear out the hair of your caterer.

How are you planning on dealing with stress in the weeks and days that approach your wedding? Let me know in the comments!

A Guide to Tipping on Your Wedding Day

One of the most frequently asked questions from clients is “Who do I tip?” followed by “How much should I tip them?”

Tipping is a confusing topic, particularly for a wedding since it’s not as clear cut as going to a restaurant and a bar. How much does each server get? What if you really had a bad experience? What is actually included in the contract?

First things first. Tipping is COMPLETELY optional. It should be used in its original intended form; for you as the client to thank one (or all!) of your vendors for absolutely going over the top to make you feel important.

Either way, here is an industry standard guide for tipping various vendors. Feel free to pick and choose as you see fit!

Bartenders: Like in a restaurant, 10% of your bar bill is sufficient for all the bartenders (this can be paid to the catering manager and will be doled out between them)

Catering manager: Depending on how much your catering bill is, $100-$200 tip is a good ballpark (and how much you enjoyed working with the catering company)

Makeup artist/Hairstylist: Per standard salon rates, between 15 to 20 percent

Musicians: Make sure to check the contract to see if gratuity is included. If it isn’t and people raved about your band, 15 percent of the fee is a good estimate.

Photographer/videographer: For flat fee photographers and videographers, between $50 – $150 tip. If there’s overtime or they are on an hourly rate and charge extra for overtime, a tip isn’t necessary.

Catering staff (not bartenders or managers): $20 and up each which can be given to the catering manager to distribute

No matter whether or not you decide to tip, I do wholeheartedly recommend to write thank you notes to your vendors if you think that they did a good job. More than being tipped, vendors (and wedding planners) LOVE feedback. Most of us are in the service industry because we LOVE our clients and our goal is that we want them to feel extra special on their big day. If you felt that way, let your vendors know. They’ll definitely appreciate it.

What is your view on tipping wedding vendors? Do you agree or disagree with writing thank you notes to vendors?

Eight Design Websites I Love

Want to know a secret? I spend a lot of time on the internet. I do a lot of research for my clients as well as my business and when I’m not wrangling contracts and following up for the gajillionth time with a vendor, I’m sneakily perusing the online design world for inspiration on wedding décor and hosting ideas.

So why keep it all a big secret? Here’s where you’ll find me most of the time (unless I’m at a cake tasting or a walkthrough or a design meeting or…)

Design Sponge

Surprise! Am I blowing your mind yet? If you haven’t taken a look at Design Sponge’s gajillions of archives, you’re missing out. Geared more towards homes décor, I still love how the bloggers and designers there can take a space that is pretty yuck and turn it into beautiful. Definitely a good one when I’m presented with a challenging décor job or an unconventional room layout.

Wedding Lovely

This website has gorgeous photography, but it also deals a lot with the more practical side of planning a wedding. If I’m looking for inspiration on how to tighten up a clients’ budget or read lovely stories from first-hand brides, I head here.

Style Me Pretty

Well, duh. I’ve been featured twice (here and here) on Style Me Pretty and it’s probably because the design aesthetic over there is exactly what I bring to my weddings. Elegant, classic, yet modern and organic, with a twist of fun and lightness.

Apartment Therapy

Again, this website has lots of beautiful spaces so sometimes, I’ll go to see what color trends are popping up and how people have creatively used decorating ideas to make small spaces look larger or large spaces look more cozy.

The Knot

I love the Knot, not only for its great advice, but for its fantastic community. The comments on some of the posts are enough to keep me clicking back there for inspiration all the time.

Green Wedding Shoes

Oh my goodness, if you haven’t seen this gloriousness then you are missing out, sister! Made for brides who trend toward fashion-forward and even a bit edgy (they’re in Southern California. Of course they’re gunna have a little edge!)

Bridal Snob

This one is solely pictures, so when I’m looking to do some vision boarding or create an inspiring color palette, Bridal Snob is my go-to. (Also, the language is hilariously colorful!)

Rustic Wedding Chic

Since I’m in Montana, this blog has some gorgeous wedding eye-candy, with a real down-home rustic feel. Perfect for brides who are looking for that country-style wedding, but still sophisticated enough to please anyone.

What are your favorite places to get wedding inspiration? Leave them in the comments below so that I can find more places to get inspired!

Hello, Style Me Pretty Friends! (and 5 Ways to Relax on Your Big Day)

If you haven’t heard the news, Leslie Lukas Weddings and Events is making its second debut of 2013 on Style Me Pretty. If you haven’t seen the wedding of the lovely Kelly and Ramiro, then head on over there and check it out. (All the beautiful photography was done by the one and only Eye in the Sky Photography. Thanks, Kene!)

And if you’re clicking over here from Style Me Pretty, welcome to my little corner of the internet! *big wave*

If you haven’t visited the House of Lukas before, here are a few posts to get your started: 

•About Leslie (everything you’ve ever wanted to know about me)

•Napkin Folds (from simple and sweet to complex and original)

•How to Dress: A Groom’s Style Guide (because every man needs a little help from a professional sometimes)

•Giving Back on Your Wedding Day (a guide to giving back before, during, and after your big day)

And of course, if you want to get some inspiration or help for your own wedding, click over to my planning website and see what I offer.

Now, on to more good stuff…

It’s almost June here at LL Headquarters, and we are in full-on planning mode. Which means we’re constantly checking email, phoning vendors, and generally trying to keep our cool while also juggling thousands of little planning balls (which is why this is our job! So you don’t have to feel this way!)

If you’re a DIY bride (or groom) or someone who has a planner but can’t turn their brain off from wedding day anticipation, never fear! Here are my 5 favorite tried-and-true tips to make sure you don’t become Bride (or Groom!) -zilla on wedding day.

1. Plan a morning alone.

If you have a large wedding party, this could be difficult to do (I’ve had bridesmaids start their hair and makeup as early as 7am. Eep!), but even just an hour for you to spend taking a long walk, writing in your journal, or simply drinking a cup of coffee while staring out the window by yourself BEFORE the wedding pandemonium begins will be a good way to center yourself, reflect on your beautiful relationship, and get ready for the awesome day ahead.

2. Workout.

If you’ve been on a wedding eating and exercise plan, probably the last thing you want to do is spend an hour in the gym. However, getting your heart rate up, sweating out some of your energy, and spending time alone or with a friend will be a good way to get yourself to focus. All that nervous energy building up as you sit and watch your bridesmaids get their makeup done? Not good. Instead, go for a run, get a little sweaty on the cardio trainer, or take a vigorous yet calming yoga class. Your body will thank you.

3. Drink water.

Aim for three liters today. I know that sounds insane, but all senses are firing today. If you can’t stomach water, try Crystal Light iced tea (not too much sugar so you don’t crash later) or 1-part juice to 2-parts water. And if you’re having mimosas with your bridesmaids, try to only drink one an hour and flush with plenty of the clear stuff (not vodka, silly. Water!)

4. Eat lunch!

I can’t tell you how many brides that forget to eat lunch. They’re so nervous, they can’t eat, or they’re making sure that everything is taken care of, or they’re trying to fit into their wedding dress…the list goes on! However, all that nervous energy + no food + cocktail hour + cocktails at the reception is a recipe for big-day blood sugar crash and burn. Make sure you have a little something and try to get protein AND carbs in there so that you stay full until dinner. My favorite? Turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, pasta salad with sunflower seeds and veggies, or a yummy hummus + veggie + fruit platter. Filling but not bloat-inducing.

5. Take a deep breath. Repeat. Enjoy.

The moments that you experience on your wedding day are unlike any other that you’ll experience…and speaking from personal experience, they’ll go by in an instant. Make sure you take a few moments to breathe and take in all the people around you who care about and you and want to be with you as you usher in your new life with your spouse.

What are your tips to stay cool, calm, and collected on wedding day?

Dear Leslie: Do You Have Ideas for Wedding Favors?

Dear Leslie,

I’ve been scouring the internet forever and I can’t seem to find favors that I really, really love. Do you have any suggestions?

I’ve totally been there. Spending hours and hours online, looking at Pinterest, trying not to spend an arm and a leg while making it elegant, classy, and fun. If I could get back the time I’ve spent doing this, I would in a heartbeat.

Well, why don’t I just make it easy for you. Here are some ideas for that I absolutely love:

Edible favors (with a personal twist)

I love all things personal, which is why I encourage guests to create favors that have a bit of their personalities. I’ve had brides who come from beekeeping families buy little mason jars, fill them with honey from their hives, and stick on a little label (tied with a raffia bow and mini-honey dipper, of course!). If you’re Italian in heritage (or love all things travel), why not give a little jar of your favorite olive oil, or jam from berries you canned last summer (if you’re planning way ahead!).

A warm pastry

This works well for colder weddings, or weddings where guests have a bit of a drive or cab ride back home. Imagine the weather turning chilly, your guests have danced and drank all night, and now it’s late and the party’s over. What do they want? Short of a piece of pizza, they probably want a gooey treat to keep the warm or curb that late-night hunger on the way home. Sticky buns are my favorite, but you can also do chocolate croissants or danishes. Planning tip: have them served on a tray for people to grab on the way out with a little sign that says “For the ride home. On us.”

Things that are useful

We do a lot of outdoor weddings in Montana and in the summer? It’s hot and can be buggy. One of my favorite ways to say to guests “We’re thinking of you!” is to place out a basket of fans that guests can grab on the way to their seats. They can fan themselves and then take a little piece of the wedding home with them (bonus points if you get the favors monogrammed or have a cute message put on them). Other ideas are flashlights (for those stumbling in the dark after an outdoor wedding) or lightweight pashminas for chilly nights (easily sourced inexpensively if you’ve got good Googling skills!)

Donation to your favorite cause

I love giving back on wedding day. Plus, by the end of the night, guests are wined and dined enough that they might not want another thing to take home with them and eat. I’ve had couples who will create 3″x5″ flyers with faces of different animals from a local shelter, saying that a donation was made on their guests’ behalf to keep them safe and warm. Maybe donate to a cause abroad or locally. or buy handmade goods from artisans living in a country you’ve traveled or  where you want to travel.

Anything local!

This is a total plug for Montana because huckleberry products and local bison jerky are definitely rampant in this part of the country. If you’re planning a destination wedding (or have lots of folks from out of town) a simple nod to the local culture can be a great touch, but also a treat for some of the in-town guests who may not go out and buy a local product for themselves. Sourdough bread from San Francisco! Magnolia cupcakes from NYC! Deep dish pizza bites from Chicago! Saltwater taffy from the coasts! The options are limitless!

Nix the favor altogether

Wait, what? I thought you said that this was a post on how to pick great favors, Leslie!

Okay, you’re right, but take a second and hear me out. Why are you wracking your brain trying to decide on a favor? Is it because you think you have to have one? Is it because all your friends had one at their weddings? If the answer to either of the latter questions is yes, then I’d say spend your money elsewhere. In Montana, we do LOADS of destination weddings, so we carefully plan welcome bags for out of town guests and often forgo a favor. If it’s not that important to you, then stop wracking your brain and move onto the next task on your (likely very large) to do list. (and if your looking for other ways to trim your budget fat, I’ve got you covered).

I’d like to start doing this as a regular series. If you have any questions about your wedding that you’d like me to answer on the blog, send me an email at info@leslielukas.com! 

7 Ways to Save on Wedding Day

This time of year is when brides start to kick it into high gear. Summer is just around the corner and while all the BIG parts are under control, now we’re working on all the nitty gritty details.

It’s also the time of year when wedding budgets start getting analyzed a liiiittle bit closer. You’re already locked into your big ticket vendors (reception space, caterers, band and the like), but there are definitely ways to trim some of the fat. If you’re taking a look at your wedding budget and noticing that you’re getting dangerously close to the top, here are a few tips that might ease budget-stress.

1. Fruit as centerpieces.

What? Yes. Fruit can be a gorgeous centerpiece at half the cost. For summer, an array of peaches, lemons, limes, and grapefruit can be elegant and fun at the same time. Fall could bring deep purple nectarines, apples, and grapes. Winter might call for squash and plums. Not sure you only want fruit? Mix and match smaller floral arrangements with large. Bonus: your guests will likely take a bite for dessert (so make sure you don’t spray anything harmful on the fruit, like a lacquer to make it shine).

2. Champagne toast…without the champagne.

While I love a good toast to the couple, most of your guests will already have a drink when it comes time to toast you and your spouse. Save a couple hundred dollars (if not more depending on your champagne preference) and nix the champagne. Allow your toast to be simple, genuine, and straight from the heart. (Hint: if you still want to satisfy those champagne tooths, have champagne available at the bar. Everyone wins!)

3. Have cupcakes, cookies, or a pastry tray instead of a cake.

Cake can be pricey, and if you’re having a large wedding, it’s hard to choose a flavor that everyone will like. Instead of going for a full-on, 9-tier cake, have one small tier made for cutting (and the requisite cake-in-face-smashing pictures) and go with mini desserts instead. Much cheaper and more crowd pleasing.

4. Think outside.

Depending on when you’re getting married, outdoor spaces can be great for a quick, loving ceremony. Gazebos at a public park or on the sweeping property of a friend or family member eliminates the cost of a ceremony space and can be just as lovely.

5. Save with students.

If you’re looking at getting a string quartet for ceremony, cocktail hour, or reception, call up the local university. Most wedding songs are pretty simple to play, and will be much cheaper than hiring professional musicians. This also goes for a calligrapher or a ceremony program/paper product designer. Many students these day are quite talented and are looking to bump up their portfolio for post-college jobs. If you can get a recommendation from the department head at your local college, you may end up with invitations or hand-done calligraphy at hundreds below cost.

6. Bring your own.

If you’re getting married close to home and you’re having a smaller wedding, it might be a good idea to bring decor pieces from your house. We’ve had brides bring everything from dishes to flatware and it adds a special, personal touch to their weddings. You could bring outdoor furniture and make a seating area or carafes from home for wine so that you don’t have to rent it from the caterer or a rental house. Plus, it makes your wedding more YOU.

7. Create your own traditions.

What about cocktail hour BEFORE the ceremony? Or a short wedding dress instead of a long one? A rehearsal dinner potluck where all your aunties or cousins bring their best dish (and leave a beautiful serving bowl as your wedding present)? We all love traditions (especially me) but your wedding is about YOU and your spouse. Who says you need a veil? Or even a white wedding dress? Your wedding should be about you!

What are your ideas for creating a high-end, gorgeous wedding without the pricetag?

Twins! Congratulations Kelly and Marcus

Two of my most favorite people on this earth, who we had the privilege to style and create a beautiful celebration for on July 18th, 2009— just let me know they are expecting….TWINS!  I couldn’t be more excited for them.  To top it all off, I get to celebrate this wonderful news at her baby shower in a couple weeks.  August can’t come soon enough to celebrate two little blessings!

Cheers Kelly and Marcus!  Thanks for the great news!

photography:  Lauren Brown Photography

Venue:  Roys Barn

Welcome Spring and Happy Anniversaries!!!

As you can see, we hit blog bankruptcy again!  November was our last post, really?  All I can really say is that keeping up with our clients and business at hand has been amazing over the last 7 months!  I do know the importance of blogging for our business, and feel terrible to neglect this blog where you have come for inspiration so often.

So, I will begin with welcoming spring….such a magical time of year!  Although we have had more snow and cold days, than the bluebird sing-songy ones that we crave, May is turning out to be gorgeous!  Enjoy these photos of a beautiful wedding that we were a part of at the RUBY SPRINGS LODGE, outside of Laurin, Montana along the Ruby River last May.  The owners are incredible, and this quaint fly-fishing lodge has beautiful scenery, amenities, and world-class charm to go with their world-class fishing.

Ivy and Brandy, the couple, found us on-line and through referrals from the area.  We were so happy to be a part of the day, and our love of peonies, which are in season right now, made creating the florals even that much more fun!

Happy Anniversary to Ivy and Brandy!  and thank you for the beautiful photos from Jessie Moore Photography!

 

Bozeman and Big Sky Christmas Decorators!

Did you know that for the past 12 years, we have provided expert holiday decorating to some of the most discriminating clientele in the Big Sky and Bozeman areas?  From business open-houses and parties to large scale lodge decorating, we have the experience and know how to pull it off seamlessly….

We have access to exquisite fresh garlands–greens that will last through the holiday.  Cedar, long-needled pine, douglas fir, and mixed.  We also can create a fresh wreath in any size…these are full, hand-made to order, and will come with all the trimmings.

If you are interested in our holiday decorating services please inquire by sending us a note :

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We provide the following services:

• ENTRYWAY DESIGN
• LIGHTING
• PATHWAYS
• TREE SELECTION AND TRIMMING
• WREATHS
• FRESH BULB GARDENS-AMARYLLIS, TULIPS, PAPERWHITES and more….
• HOLIDAY EVENTS AND SOIREES
• BUSINESS DECORATING
• NEW YEARS EVE BASHES

We can bundle up your home or business for the holidays.  References by request.   Please enjoy the slide-show of some of our work:

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May your holidays be warm and bright!

LL